Indecisive

by Nick Andrea

I’ve always had trouble deciding what to do in life. Being multi-faceted my eggs have always landed in many baskets. Not to mention, I’ve had my pie-share of issues, fears, and attachments.

After a few decades on this planet, however, I’ve found an effective way to decide this great matter: to do what opens my heart.

There is a certain fluttery feeling that accompanies this. It’s like being in love. (I understand it as the presence of a force larger than me, but one also delightful and benevolent; in other words, God.) To follow this fluttery feeling leads me to pastures of beauty more extraordinary and magnificent than my ego-mind could have come up with. The main point is about trusting and following that passion. This “following,” I believe, is why artists throughout history have referred to themselves more as conduits than as creators. Passion comes from a place beyond reasonability. That’s why it’s scary.

This process challenges me. It beckons me to realms beyond my control, for control is the tool of the ego and ego is the enemy of the heart. The two cannot coexist in the same pasture. What is required of me is complete trust in It, in that passion that sets my heart ablaze and scares the living daylights out of me, of what should emerge if I open that box.

So, I write this for you, my fellow indecisives. If you share this issue you may be struggling with a passion problem. Your need to control is the fear of what will happen if you surrender to your passion. Your heartsong is thus constricted, divorcing you from the conversation with your clear, inner voice of love.

Passion is not rational. Neither is truth. If you want to be free you have to trust.

So, what makes your heart flutter but scares the living daylights out of you? What sets your heart on fire that are you avoiding? The answer is where you need to look.

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About NickAndrea19

My goal has always been and continues to be the liberation of minds, my own and what influence I may have on others, to perceive the extraordinary beauty all around us. To this end, I write, play music, and design websites. Don't hesitate to contact me for more information about any of these activities. :)
This entry was posted in Expansive Blog, Inspiration, Love Chronicles and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Indecisive

  1. wartica says:

    I’ve been through this similar conflict while meditating–not too long ago actually–where I was almost scared to tap into the personal freedom I was experiencing; luckily, I allowed myself to just go with the new found feelings and it’s worked wonders so far:)

    http://jonwatersauthor.com/

  2. NickAndrea19 says:

    Hey thanks for the comment. 🙂
    Yeah, flow is, in my opinion, the hardest and most liberating thing. It is my goal.

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