by Nick Andrea
I’ve always had trouble deciding what to do in life. Being multi-faceted my eggs have always landed in many baskets. Not to mention, I’ve had my pie-share of issues, fears, and attachments.
After a few decades on this planet, however, I’ve found an effective way to decide this great matter: to do what opens my heart.
There is a certain fluttery feeling that accompanies this. It’s like being in love. (I understand it as the presence of a force larger than me, but one also delightful and benevolent; in other words, God.) To follow this fluttery feeling leads me to pastures of beauty more extraordinary and magnificent than my ego-mind could have come up with. The main point is about trusting and following that passion. This “following,” I believe, is why artists throughout history have referred to themselves more as conduits than as creators. Passion comes from a place beyond reasonability. That’s why it’s scary.
This process challenges me. It beckons me to realms beyond my control, for control is the tool of the ego and ego is the enemy of the heart. The two cannot coexist in the same pasture. What is required of me is complete trust in It, in that passion that sets my heart ablaze and scares the living daylights out of me, of what should emerge if I open that box.
So, I write this for you, my fellow indecisives. If you share this issue you may be struggling with a passion problem. Your need to control is the fear of what will happen if you surrender to your passion. Your heartsong is thus constricted, divorcing you from the conversation with your clear, inner voice of love.
Passion is not rational. Neither is truth. If you want to be free you have to trust.
So, what makes your heart flutter but scares the living daylights out of you? What sets your heart on fire that are you avoiding? The answer is where you need to look.