The Illusion of Control

by Nick Andrea

This morning I awoke and took the dog out for a walk. I was planning to meditate when we got back like I do every morning. Yet, I had a feeling it wasn’t going to happen.

We arrived at the house and I got everything ready for meditation – the cushion, the incense, the candles. Though, it felt like I was pushing against the current in doing so.

I sat down and began my internal routine, amidst interruption after interruption. The dog whined, the coffee maker was going (which pissed me off even more because I don’t drink it), a neighbor knocked on the door, my left hip hurt, my back was knotted up. I became more and more irritated every moment.

Finally, I got up, put my cushion away, and stood in the kitchen leaning against the counter with my arms crossed. I had anger. Irritation at my lack of control, my inability to be the boss of what was happening in the moment. It’s what was.

That moment of recognition ended up being my meditation this morning, a surrender to the reality of the moment. Why was I so irritated? Because I was trying to twist reality to my idea of what it should be, when Nature had a different idea. Have you ever done this?

The divine script didn’t have me meditating on the cushion this morning. My character just wasn’t there, and it wasn’t until I surrendered to the part that had been written for me at that moment that peace came.

So what is meditation? Is it to be able to control every aspect of life? Is it to be able to “control nature,” as Sri Swami Sivananda would have us believe? I don’t think so. I think the point is to surrender to Nature.

Nature is our friend. It’s where we come from. It’s what runs through us, as us, as our intuition. It’s what gave me the premonition on my walk that sitting meditation just wasn’t going to happen for me this morning. It’s that still small voice that guides me, that always seems to be right, that’s always seems to be benevolent.

It is the Word that the Genesis talks about, the Tao, the Logos that Socrates mentioned 2000 years before Christ. Nature is the flow that, when we are riding it, feels incredibly blissful, and when we resist it causes pain.

Is control necessary to become one with It? Maybe sometimes, but I believe surrender will always be more important. Always.

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About NickAndrea19

My goal has always been and continues to be the liberation of minds, my own and what influence I may have on others, to perceive the extraordinary beauty all around us. To this end, I write, play music, and design websites. Don't hesitate to contact me for more information about any of these activities. :)
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