Surrender, the Key to Joy

by Nick Andrea

We don’t really have control. I know this flies in the face of those who practice New Thought, Science of Mind, life coaching-type stuff who believe that we create our own destiny, but I’m arguing against that. Let me give an example to explain.

Last night I listened to a woman tell her story of how this abundance course changed her life. She began taking the course immediately after she signed up for it. The very next day she received a letter in the mail from her bank saying that they were forgiving her mortgage. Wow! It must have been the abundance course, right?

Well, truth is that before she chose to take it that debt forgiveness was already in process. In fact, the letter was already printed and on its way. Taking the course just so happened to coincide with the mortgage forgiveness, but it could not have caused it, at least not in any way this woman consciously controlled.

“Ok, Buddha,” you say, “Thank for shooting a hole in my belief that I could control my life. Thanks a lot. I feel a lot better now.” Well now, now, I only did that to try and show you that there’s something even more wonderful waiting for you.

My theory is that we do, in fact, have complete control of what happens to us. Just not at the conscious level. In other words, not in any way that we really control. I believe it’s a deeper “Self” that has control, one that most of us are not tuned into most of the time, because it’s beyond ego. It’s beyond our sense of separateness from all that is. The Self which creates reality does so with the interests of all other selves in mind, does so in accordance with natural law, does so in such a way as to allow our little “selves” to grow, even if that’s sometimes painful. You’ve visioned for, prayed for that $1000 bucks, that new dream job, that divine partner, and you haven’t gotten it because it’s not what the deeper You really wants. Maybe the deeper You wants you to experience humility, gratitude, confidence, and maybe that’s why you are being denied these things. On the other hand, the woman from our story above needed to experience freedom from debt, and I would argue the abundance course and the mortgage forgiveness are all part of the place in the river where she gets abundance, all orchestrated coincidentally by her deeper Self, not her conscious mind.

“Okay okay, I get your point,” you say. “But how do I know what deeper Me really wants?” Surrender to what is.

In The Ego and the Dymanic Ground Michael Washburn calls meditation the “royal road to the unconscious.” Meditation is progressive surrender, beginning with the outermost layer of who we are – the physical body and sensations, and progressively moving inward through the emotional and various mental layers of consciousness. If you really want to know who you are and what you want, you have to go inward to the core, your source, THE source of reality. It’s in you. There you will find understanding, peace, and fulfilled desire.

Am I bashing positive thoughts and taking courses to improve your consciousness? Absolutely not! I think they’re great and I even do them myself. Just be aware that there’s something deeper going on here, something larger, something much more wonderful than just getting your mortgage forgiven. πŸ™‚


About NickAndrea19

My goal has always been and continues to be the liberation of minds, my own and what influence I may have on others, to perceive the extraordinary beauty all around us. To this end, I write, play music, and design websites. Don't hesitate to contact me for more information about any of these activities. :)
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8 Responses to Surrender, the Key to Joy

  1. Lori DiNardi says:

    This makes perfect sense. And the theory that we can control what happens in our lives can also cause guilt, if we end up NOT getting what we’ve envisioned for ourselves. However, I have a caveat … I think that it’s the muck of this world … the “psychological” if you will, that gets in the way. For example, if I’ve been raised being taught to believe I’m worthless and can’t accomplish anything, then, until I can clear away that misconception, I will not be able to attract what I truly am capable of doing. Does that make sense? I think we’ve been raised with so many misconceptions about ourselves, that it takes clearing that slate clean to find that “inner guide” as to who and what we truly are. Not sure if this is clear or not, but I do love this philosophical discussion. Thanks for this thoughtful post.

    • NickAndrea19 says:


      I agree with you. In fact many times I have felt that while the story is already written, I’m the gatekeeper, so to speak, with my beliefs. Eventually I will get to all the glory of God and all that, but I have control over how soon that happens. To the degree that I stay stuck in limiting beliefs I continue going round and round in the cycle, nothing changing, no growth happening.

    • NickAndrea19 says:

      That’s why I value meditation, and I believe it’s the cornerstone of the path, I think, but it’s not actually getting to God, not actually influencing reality. It is merely preparing the soil so that divine seed can blossom and flourish. That seed comes, I believe, from beyond the ego, beyond anything we have control of. It just is, has always been, always will be, but we’re not aware of it because, as you said, the psychological junk gets in the way.
      This stands somewhat in contrast to the New Thought approach in that in meditation we are discovering what is, deeper and deeper, until we come into contact with that wonderful jewel at the center of our being. And at this place, when “we” go beyond our “selves,” I believe we become The Creator, not just a creator.
      My two cents. πŸ™‚ Love the dialogue by the way.

  2. Lori DiNardi says:

    I agree about when we reach that center, we ARE the Creator. From my years of seeking, I’ve come to have faith in the idea that we are God in expression. We need only discover It. I enjoy this type of discussion too, though on my blog I speak only a little about it. It’s why I enjoy being able to come here and read about it (and dialogue). Thanks.

    • NickAndrea19 says:

      Hehe yeah come here and we’ll talk about the spirit. I’ve been avoiding it for so many years to avoid turning people off but now I just don’t care. There’s something magical in this universe, and I don’t know what else to call it!

  3. Lori DiNardi says:

    Hey Nick, yes, I talked about Spirit a lot during my seeking years. I joined a discussion board and it was fascinating (back then). Over time, people joined in that were not of like mind, and that was fine too, but ultimately it got nasty. It seemed everyone wanted to convince everyone else that their view was the right view. When they couldn’t, they got mean and sometimes intimidating. It was anything but filled with the Spirit. I moved on from those boards and tend to only discuss this type of thinking (about Spirit as you do here) with those of like mind. I’m not here to convince someone else, but it does give me a joyful spiritual connection with those of like mind. πŸ™‚

  4. NickAndrea19 says:

    Yeah that is common. I have been listening to myself talk about “God” a lot lately and somehow it just doesn’t fit. I’m actually seeking a no-frills expression for the same thing, without all the cultural baggage that comes along with it. Maybe unconditional love, or intuition, or the unknown…

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